Students, can't live with them, but sure am glad I have them

I don't often write about my students. I teach special education and I think is my subtle way of making sure that I don't reveal "too much." Today though, my kids touched my heart a little bit, ok they crushed it. They reminded me why I have a job where I really don't make any money. This was good timing on their part because yesterday was payday.

I have a tough group of freshmen. Not tough in the sense that they are difficult to work with, but tough in the sense that there is SO much I need to teach them. Then I have my upper classmen. Most have been with me for 3-4 years now and we have "bonded." This means that they recognize the evil eye and respond accordingly!! They are rambunctious, ok they are naughty. They talk a lot, sneak food into my class, complain at just about everything, and remind me of just how old I am on a regular basis.

For as naughty as they are, underneath it all, they are great. My struggling freshmen were really struggling today. Today's schedule doled out written work at every turn. Written language is our enemy! My poor freshmen started to sweat. They hate it when the "old people" help them. Mrs. Wolf and I arriving at their desk is a sign to all that they need help, and most would rather explode than allow that to happen.

In swooped my upper classmen. At one point one boy looked at another and said, "We are all bad at it....... it is ok! But you got to do it, and we will support you." Ugh, I can retire on that one! But wait they aren't done yet.

They pull some desks together, tell the kids who struggle most with words to work the map and they will take care of the words. They aren't going to let them off the hook completely though, "you have to read one whole paragraph, even if we tell you every word, you have to do just one."
Ok....let me go get some boxes and start packing. My work here is done.


Ok wait hold that thought..........this just in. Someone just told me how she "got bored" so she eased her skin until it left something that looks like a really bad rug burn. Put the boxes back.......there may be a few more areas to cover. It will be ok though because my students care about each other, and they care about me. One girl is working towards getting to walk to class with me. I feel honored. Eat your hearts out regular education..........the best you will ever be is regular. We on the other hand are SPECIAL.

Summer when it is fall

Fall is always a depressing time of year
everything dies
but it will come back
rejuvinate

Nothing is worse than summer in fall
back to school
92 degrees
108 in my classroom......great
I didn't know human beings could even smell like that
and still be alive anyway

Back to work, but it is still warm
late nights with friends who are out.....because it's warm
When it gets cold they will stay home, I will sleep more then
I like them though so it is worth the walking zombie state

I saw a guy behind me chewing gum today
He really liked that gum!
I wish I could get that excited about something
Then I saw a kid wipe out on a bike
I quit thinking about the gum

I did start thinking about dancing
Dancing close
So close you can feel a heart beat
That would be nice

Back to School

Holy crap!?!?! Why don't I ever do this unless I am at school??
I think it may have something to do with my inability to say what I wish throughout the day
"If you do that one more time, my head might explode"
"Do you realize how annoying that makes you?"
"JESUS CHRIST"

The latter is something I have recently acquired...........I say it too much outside of the school walls
My 5 yr old says it now too.........to his grandma

So why not start blogging again? I can write just about anything here and no one finds out
no repercussions

Did I mention I get to ride a horse tonight??
Pretty much have been talking about it all day

I don't know what I would do without lunch
for as much as I dread my 6th period class
can't live without lunch
don't have to think there
actually my IQ drops and I wouldn't trade it for anything

Did I mention I get to ride a horse tonight
Bet I will have pictures tomorrow.........................

The Purple Dress

I teach in an unbelievably hot classroom. I am talking stifling, smelly, stuffy classroom. No windows. So this morning with a promising forecast on the TV, I decide to break into my summer attire. I throw on a purple balloon dress and head out the door in a comfortable state.

The first 5 people I run into in the morning act like I just showed up in an evening gown. My students in panicked voices ask, "what is going on?" When I respond with a blank stare, the point out that I am wearing a dress. There has to be something going on for you to be wearing a dress!! Really??? I am a girl.......girls wear dresses. I didn't think it was that big of a deal.

In the afternoon one co-worker calls me Grimmace, another Barney, and yet another tops it off with Tinkie Winkie. I mean really a Telletubbie!?!?! It is just a dress. I see people wearing them all the time!!

So does this mean that I don't express my feminine side enough?? I think I might wear a dress tomorrow too!! I think purple is a great color. The other revelation for the day.........my students didn't know what crocuses were!!! Wow, my heart breaks for them. Nature is a beautiful playground they have never explored. I wish I could kidnap them all for a weekend!! I guess they will have to live vicariously through the pictures I bring.......but at least they have that, I guess!

Photography of a 5 yr old

Spring

The other day I was thinking about spring, and what it was like when I was little. All the running water to play in, the hills to explore, the flowers to find. My eyes got misty. I don't know if I miss the place or that carefree time in my life, but either way, I want it back. I want to go back to the top of that big hill and feel like I rule the world. I want to see miles and miles of undisturbed country. I want to feel like I belong to something bigger.

I try to recreate those experiences for my child, but sometimes I don't think that is possible. I don't know if the wonder existed in the place, or was it the time? Part of me is afraid to go back. What if it isn't as grand? Will I have ruined this treasured memory that can instantly bring my mind a sense of peace when I think about it? I think it might be worth the risk.

My friend Candace says one of her favorite movies is Mr. Magorium's Wonder Emporium (even though she was only supposed to give one, she has two). I watched it again the other day and realized why she likes it so much. I had missed it the first time. The part where he tells her he is dying and wants his life told in the grand fashion he lived it, and sum it all up with, "he died." With the end of one chapter comes the beginning of another.

Sometimes when my life changes drastically it brings me great sadness. That movie reminded me without change, nothing new would ever come. So maybe I no longer have that hill to take my son to, so that he could be the king of the world.......... but I do have something. I have my own hills to give him. My own memories to create.

After his birthday celebrations had ended I cried. I don't want him to loose that wonderful innocence that comes with childhood. I even contemplated duct taping a brick to his head! But I have to let him grow, to change, to make his own chapters. So with all of his new chapters will come ones of my own. I don't want them to be written about a lousy character!! I will do my best to preserve whatever amount of wonder I can in his life and my own!!

One dessert for the rest of your life.....

So recently the question was raised if you could only have one dessert the rest of your life what would it be? How awful!! So at first I thought it would be chocolate chip bars for me, but for the rest of my life!?!?! I like chocolate chip cookie bars but I know that I would never want to eat them and only them for the rest of my life!

Could anything be good if you knew it would be the same thing over the rest of your life?? So of course the first thing this leads me to think about is marriage. If I couldn't commit to the same dessert for the rest of my life how could I commit to one person for the rest of my life?

Yet, I have no doubt that I will be a parent for the rest of my life. So in a sense I have committed myself there. So I am capable of life long commitment, but only in certain circumstances.

It is so very seldom you meet someone who is truly happily married. Is commitment all it is cracked up to be? Is it the same chocolate chip cookie bars for dessert every single day?